I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
