her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
