He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Did I show you my penis last night?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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