you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
