your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?