Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
