umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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