your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
