So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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