woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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