ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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