So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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