i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
