Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
