i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
