He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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