Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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