he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
