If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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