Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
