So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
