I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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