i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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