Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
