before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
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You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
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