just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
