My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
