If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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