How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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