I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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