I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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