they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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