I want to walk on stilts...naked
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
