I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
