Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
