he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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