I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
