Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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