today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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