Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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