I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
