Do vagina's smell?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So much Jack, so little girl.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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