This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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