I must be too annoying 4 u.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
