This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
