Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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