thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
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it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
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she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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