I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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