how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Fuck appropriateness.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
