Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
