do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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