it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
