At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
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You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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