i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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