lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
