great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
