he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
