im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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